


Turning the Tables

by lizardhair



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Crime Fighting, Gen, Short One Shot, villains win
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-29 22:32:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15738645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizardhair/pseuds/lizardhair
Summary: Sometimes when the Rogues work together, a minor miracle can happen.





	Turning the Tables

**Author's Note:**

> Done as a short warm-up and to practice writing fight scenes! I figure this would have happened pretty early on in Batman's crime-fighting career.

The plan had gone wrong. Batman arrived sooner than Riddler had predicted, and everything fell to pieces. So the three did what they always did: run. 

It did not end well. One wrong turn, and the Rogues found themselves in a dead-end alley. The Bat was upon them in an instant, all swirling cape and vicious strikes.

A batarang, thrown too quickly to be dodged, bit into Scarecrow’s shoulder. The man swore, but before he could fight back, his legs were swept out from under him.

A punch, and Hatter fell to his knees, mouth filling with the taste of metal. He spat a tooth onto the rough pavement, tears of pain and fear streaking down his pale face.

A furious kick, and Riddler was sent backwards, slamming into the wall with a yelp. His cane clattered to the ground, only to be broken under the Bat’s bootheel. “Damn you,” Riddler panted, wiping blood from his face. “I refuse to be intimidated by your brutish-- _ga-hah!”_ Riddler had been cut off by a knee to the gut. He doubled over, arms wrapped around his stomach. 

“Don’t h-hurt him!” Hatter cried. As the Bat turned to look down at him, the Rogue put his hands up, protecting his face and cowering. “Don’t hurt me either, p-please!”

“Your card left that security guard in a _coma,_ Tetch,” the Bat growled. “He has a _family._ You didn’t think twice about hurting any of _them.”_ He grabbed the trembling Hatter by his collar and dragged him to his feet. “And you did it for _money.”_

 _“Not all of us are as wealthy as Bruce Wayne,”_ hissed a voice from the shadows.

The Bat dropped Hatter as he dodged Scarecrow’s scythe; the weapon missed his throat by mere inches, and Scarecrow laughed. The sound echoed throughout the gloom of the alley like a corvid’s hoarse call.

“Crane--” Batman said.

 _“Oh no, Dr. Crane is out at the moment,”_ said the Rogue, stepping from the shadows. _“Perhaps you’d like to make an appointment?”_ He swung his scythe again, and this time it sunk into Batman’s armor. When Scarecrow tore it free, the Bat roared, blood cascading down his side. Batman stumbled away from Scarecrow, hand going to his utility belt, but found his arm caught by the metal curve of Riddler’s ?-shaped cane handle.

“Not--this--time,” Riddler snarled. He gave his cane a sharp twist and heard a _snap_ from the vicinity of Batman’s wrist. Riddler leapt back as the Bat went for another kick, then cackled when he saw that the hero’s legs had been tied together by one of Hatter’s specialty handkerchiefs. Smirking, Riddler put his gloved hands on Batman’s chest and gave him a shove. The Bat crashed the the ground, head striking the cement with a _crunch._  

The Rogues gathered around the fallen Bat, looking first at his unconscious form, then at each other. Hatter was the first to react, hysterical giggles pouring out of his mouth like bubbles in soda. Next was Riddler, who placed a hand on his cheek in disbelief. Finally, Scarecrow shook his head and nudged Batman’s torso with the toe of his boot.

“How...unexpected,” Scarecrow said. Crane was back in, it seemed. 

“Oh, that was amazing!” Hatter exclaimed in between giggles. “Utterly incredible!” 

“Should we gloat? I feel like we ought to gloat,” Riddler said. Without waiting for an answer, he crouched down, careful of his ankle, and pulled a small knife out of his pocket. With the precision of a sculptor, he carved his own ? motif over the chest of the Bat symbol. On the left wing he then etched a simplistic top hat, and on the right an approximation of a scythe. “I could have been an artist in another life,” Riddler said as he stood and slipped his knife back into its pocket. “If I believed in reincarnation, that is.”

Hatter clapped. “Marvelous work, Nygma!” Then he paused, brow furrowing. “Oughtn’t we...see who he is?”

“While this _is_ quite the opportunity,” Riddler said, “I have a plan in the works for a rather _grand_ unmasking. Thus, I’d rather leave the cowl on. What say you, Crane?” 

“Leave it,” said Scarecrow. “ _I look forward to your...spectacle.”_

“Ah, very well then,” said Hatter. “Though we simply _must_ take his utility belt. So many fun tricks...let us divy them up!” 

Riddler chuckled and removed the Bat’s belt with a flourish. “Gentlemen, our consolation prize.”

And with that, the three made their leisurely escape.

**Author's Note:**

> The alternate title for this fic is "Batman's Bad Night" lol


End file.
